Recently I have been pondering....I like that word PONDER...anywho, I have been pondering the fears I have about some of the decisions I have made, or better yet have NOT made. Fear is a a very dirty 4 letter word to me but often I find myself not excersizing my faith because of my fears.
Fears of failure, fears of being hurt, not finding my place in God, dissapointing God, and not doing what I love because I am afraid to give up something I like, to do something I love. I know this makes no sense, but I promise in my head it does.
I want to belong, I want to be a part of something, but after everything my family has went through it is hard to trust again...it is hard to allow anyone to see the deeper side of me. It is even harder for my husband. It is fear that keeps us from giving our all. It is fear that keeps Dj from staying in the nursery every Sunday. Either that or I have just spoiled him rotten, or maybe a little bit of both hmmmmm.
What makes it easy to trust again? Will it ever be easy to trust again? Trust is hard. Would you trust your children with just anyone? Would you trust your bank account to just anyone? Trusting God can be hard when things are rough...trusting man is even harder.
Will I ever sing for God again? I want to. Will Aaron ever play for God again? That is hard to say. But if in all my fear and lack or trust, I can keep my faith I will come out victorious in Him. For through Him all things are possible...right?
Put your trust in Him, He will give you victory over all fear. For fear is just a tool of the devil to keep you from being all you can be. Trust God and step out and be all you can for Him. He will give you the confidence you need!!! LVU!!!
ReplyDeleteGirl, I know just how you feel! Sometimes I think I have more fear than faith, too. Let me tell you what I have learned: You can trust God with everything. And as you trust Him, you will learn to trust His children, too. Fear IS a tool of the devil because if he can get you alienated and focused on your fear then you are weak and vulnerable. Do what Sis. Martin said...I have stepped out many times in faith and I can testify that He has always been there to catch me! Love you!
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